Saturday, June 11, 2016

INSANE IS THE NEW NORMAL: POST TWENTY-SEVEN


Wind Poppies, North Fork of Kings River



     There is one place on earth, it seems, that knows what I need better than I do. In the shade of a flowering buckeye tree on the road above the North Fork of the Kings River, I suddenly sensed that I had to face a terrible illusion. I was not like some Buddha under a Bodhi tree, however. Over the years I have come to realize that peaceful vibrations in the river canyon allow repressed dimensions of my soul to surface. Sometimes I feel the nearly forgotten sense of freedom that I experienced by the river as a child or a sense of well-being so profound that I forget myself. Sometimes I hear a wise voice or experience an insight. Today, unexpectedly, I was feeling like a man with ten swords in his back. On the foothill road drenched with peace, I could not find a reason for the creeping sense of paralysis and despair. As I hopped over the stones, late spring flowers were dazzling me, so I couldn't concentrate on the cause of my unexpected suffering. Finally I plopped down, frustrated and perplexed, on a pounding stone by the the river.

Ten of Swords, Lord of Ruin
Sun in Gemini, Sun in Tiphareth

     Why was the Ten of Swords haunting me so much? Perhaps because I have noticed a strange thing happening due to my blogs: People in Fresno, CA, if they know me at all, flee from me in absolute terror. It would be amusing if it weren't so disconcerting. Either a person who tells the truth scares the bejeebers out of people in Fresno, or, what is more likely, someone is spreading horrible rumors about me. It's almost as if someone in Fresno has become a negative extension of my blog persona, pretending to be me and threatening people. In grocery stores, old acquaintances have dashed away from me in panic. One man even shadowed me out to the parking lot to see if I had damaged his car, which I found troubling because I have never once even considered harming anyone's property. I suspect that a border-line sociopath whom I unfortunately knew many years ago (and possibly some of her friends) might be spreading lies about me, making people think I'm a monster.
     In the river canyon, raw emotions surface and I sense currents of thought and emotion. It was possible that my subconscious was showing me that whatever is actually happening is turning me into
Six of Wands
Jupiter in Leo
Sun in Tiphareth
the figure in the Ten of Swords once again. (Quick note: If you are idiotic enough to have unjustly ruined a man's reputation, giving him nothing to lose, you will inevitably fear him for a long, long time. A man with nothing to lose is truly a man to fear and might strike at any time. Truly, though, if you are one of the people running away from me, you should instead be fleeing from the people spreading the lies because, believe me, they would stab you in the back a hundred times without remorse if they targeted you. At any rate, those responsible for spreading the lies are the ones making you afraid, not me.)
     The great irony is that I have never threatened anyone. I have never wanted to harm anyone. I have only wanted the truth to be known. Really, if I devoted any time to hurting people, would I ever get anything done, especially now that I don't have much energy? My spiritual and creative life would die on the vine. I wouldn't be able to focus on writing or composing music or painting pictures or performing rituals: Vengeance doesn't suit me. I am only able to remain a spiritual and creative person because I have continually let go of negativity: I have forgiven, innumerable times, anyone who has harmed me, and based on my experience, I know that you no longer need to harm someone you have truly forgiven.
     As I meditated by the river, I knew that I was also envisioning the Ten of Swords because of my illness. Because of celiac disease,
Wheel of Fortune, Path 21
Jupiter
(Associated with Six of Wands)
my digestive system seems to be shutting down. I feel like a fifty-six year old person with an eighty year old body. This is, of course, a continual source of physical, emotional and mental discomfort. I envision black energy within my digestive system whenever I scan my body with my mind's eye. I purify myself mentally on a regular basis, but the blackness keeps returning. I have never been able to shake this negativity (just like over the past thirty years I haven't been able to shake, it seems, whoever continues to stab me in the back). Throughout my life I have experienced periods where I have slowly spiraled down into a chasm because my illness kept getting worse, and nobody could identify the problem. In each period, if I did not somehow alleviate the illness to some extent, I crashed, and, yeah, I crashed more than once in ways that other people noticed. From personal experience, I know that many people blame you for your physical illness, even for heart disease and cancer. They believe that you must have done something wrong to deserve your illness. Celiac disease is a genetic disease, which for me has led to extended periods of digestive system dysfunction and atrial fibrillation, yet even some of the people closest to me have attributed my “failings” to a poor mental attitude, so I also carry with me feelings of guilt and shame as well.
     Over the years I have continued to identify different food allergies until I have finally discovered the main cause. Because of celiac disease, I also have leaky gut syndrome and irritable bowel syndrome, for instance, and my stomach can no longer efficiently
Strength, Path 19
Leo
(Associated with Six of Wands)
digest anything, especially not chewy meats or anything with fiber, which includes, unfortunately, most fruits and vegetables. The cause of this disease is not in any way psychological, as many of my doctors over the years would have had me believe, but it does affect me psychologically. Since foods containing gluten are toxic to my system, I have inevitably experienced bad psychological reactions, including brain fog, fatigue, and severe depression. (I also have a strange compulsion to speak truth to power, possibly because of all the cognitive dissonance I have experienced over the years due to the disease—See previous posts.)
     By the river, I understood one thing, at least: My old story is dying. It was never big enough for me anyway. The challenge, of course, is creating a new story that is large enough, a difficult task for me to imagine by the river since The Ten of Swords kept reappearing in my mind's eye. It came to me then that I have reached a point where negativity could actually kill me. I could imagine that at some point in the near future I might just give up. I knew then that I must focus on powerful, positive energies that cleanse and renew me. Sitting on a pounding stone by the river, I realized also that collectively we are reaching a point where humanity could devastate the planet: Purification and renewal are universal needs in these troubled times.
     There was another reason that I was envisioning the Ten of Swords in my mind's eye: The Sun in Gemini, the decanate
Six of Swords
Mercury in Aquarius
Sun in Tiphareth
correspondences of the card. In other words, behind the blackness in the Ten of Swords is The Sun, which on the Tree of Life is associated with the sphere of healing and equilibrium, the Christ-center, known as Tiphareth. My soul was showing me that I needed to banish the negativity in my life represented by the Ten of Swords and invoke the healing energies of the source of all physical life, and the Sun behind the sun. I became certain that my new story has to focus on invoking powerful positive forces and letting go of illusions and negativity.
     By the river, I also realized that I cannot avoid my own mortality anymore. My father died three days before he turned fifty-six, which means that I have lived, at this point, three months longer than he did. My father had heart trouble and had gone to the doctor for tests before he passed, but the doctors couldn't find anything wrong with him, which suggests that he too might have experienced atrial fibrillation from celiac disease. As a member of the Great Generation, my father believed that finding a decent job and providing a good home for the family was the meaning of success. My father grew up on a
The Magician, Path 12
Mercury
(Associated with Six of Swords)
farm during the Great Depression and survived WWII, then moved out to California with my mother in the late nineteen forties. He slowly edged from the lower class into the middle class by finding a slightly better job every few years. By the age of fifty, he had attained what he considered success but died a few years later; in comparison, several of his siblings survived into their late eighties and early nineties. In his struggle for upward mobility, my father worked most of the time, and I never got to know him as I was growing up. He was always stoic and viewed disease merely as an obstacle to overcome. Perhaps because of my father, in my old story, I believed that I should be able to overcome negativity through sheer willpower in order to attain success. I even believed subconsciously that success itself would save me from negativity. That story still haunts me. I have to let that go as well.
     Had he lived longer, my father probably would have considered me a failure. But in this economy, my failures probably would have
The Star, Path 28
Aquarius
(Associated with Six of Swords)
occurred even if I had at one point landed a decent job. Many of the men I know, myself included, have found themselves over-educated and underemployed with temporary jobs that do not provide pensions or health care. Several of these men have worked for a corporation for over twenty-five years only to end up with a quickly exhausted severance package, and they are now scrambling for work as independent contractors. Another worked for thirty years without a pension; just when he was thinking about retiring, his company took away thirty thousand dollars in sick pay that he had accrued. Needless to say, a few weeks later he submitted his resignation.
     As I sat alone, humbled by a wild river, I felt very alone with my own mortality. I realized that I had
Six of Cups
Sun in Scorpio
Sun in Tiphareth
accepted the illusion that if we become successful or famous we will never feel alone again. Gazing at the river, I knew that was pure nonsense. I have to banish the negative energies from my life and renew myself. I know better than anyone else what I need to do. The people I love can do nothing to help me. I can only do this myself.
     I knew then that I have a choice: Stay as positive as possible or give up. In my old story, I focused on the negative. The negativity bias refers to the notion that, even when of equal intensity, things of a more negative nature, such as unpleasant thoughts, emotions, or social interactions and harmful or traumatic events, have a greater effect on one's psychological state and processes than do neutral or positive things. In other words, something very positive will generally have less of an impact on a person's behavior and cognition than something equally emotional but negative. I knew that I would have to overcome this bias or perish.
     When I got home, I realized that I already have the spiritual
Death, Path 24
Scorpio
(Associated with Six of Swords)
tools to overcome this negativity. Working with the Tarot over the years I have discovered that you can work with adverse cards to banish negative energies and then invoke the associated positive energies through a ritual that I have devised with Tarot Cards that I call the Tarot Pentagram Spread. I have based the banishing and invoking rituals of my Tarot Pentagram Spread on extremely effective banishing and invoking rituals known respectively as The Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram (LBRP) and The Supreme Invoking Ritual of the Pentagram (SIRP), both of which have been used by adepts for many years.
     My spirituality has grown out of suffering: I have had to struggle with negativity every day, so I am no stranger to mental purification techniques, which include The Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram, a ritual that cleanses me and keeps me balanced despite illness and associated problems.
Six of Pentacles
The Moon in Taurus
The Sun in Tiphareth
Without this banishing ritual, I doubt that I would have survived as long as I have. In addition to keeping me spiritually balanced, it has protected me from malicious spirits and demonic forces. (See previous posts.) At one period in my life, for instance, when I was under attack by a powerful malicious spirit, I began using the LBRP regularly. One night, as I was beginning the banishing ritual, I heard what sounded like a cross between a shriek and a howl slamming the roof above me with the force of a sonic boom. At that moment the air outside was still and no airplanes were flying over the house. That entity has not bothered me since.
     (For many of you, I realize, we are wading into a jungle with huge spiders, bizarre flowers and strange winged creatures. Some of you, I'm sure, are beginning to question my sanity. However, I long ago pledged to speak my truth in this blog even if everyone considers
The High Priestess, Path 13
The Moon
(Associated with Six of Pentacles)
me insane. My goal now is merely to share a ritual that has helped me immensely in banishing negative energies and invoking positive forces. If you don't believe in that “hocus pocus,” you are excused.)
     As I mentioned, one of my Tarot Pentagram Spreads is based on the Supreme Invoking Ritual of the Pentagram. This ritual, which
can be dangerous in the hands of neophytes, invokes powerful cosmic forces. Before I continue, I should warn you: When you contact a sephira, or sphere, on the Tree of Life, or the God it represents, you allow its entire spectrum of energy, from the positive to the negative pole, to pour into the soul. For instance, with Mars, who represents Geburah, the fifth sephira on the Tree, you contact the positive virtues of strength, courage, and discipline, as well as its vices on the negative end of the pole: cruelty and destructiveness. If you do not know how to handle the energy, the vice of the sphere can dominate your personality. Also,
The Hierophant, Path 16
Taurus
(Associated with Six of Pentacles)
it is always possible that malicious spirits and demonic entities might take notice that you are becoming more sensitive to the spiritual dimension and start wreaking havoc in your life (as they did in mine). Occult work takes courage and commitment. Once you open that door, you must perform the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram at least once every day.
     My negativity has tended to heighten the vices of the spheres of the Tree of Life. I have for the past twenty years traveled back and forth on the paths between Netzach to Tiphareth, from Venus to the Sun, and from Tiphareth to Geburah, from the Sun to Mars. I am
probably more prone to experience the vices of each sphere because of my chronic illness (so don't be surprised if you, gentle reader, have encountered a little cruelty in my blogs). Contacting the powers, I believe, is the way to live an abundant life, but as I mentioned, the powers contain both balanced and unbalanced energies. Adventurers in the unseen must learn how to harmonize those forces within themselves, which is the work of a lifetime.
     If I have not scared you off by now, I would like to share a powerful ritual that banishes the negative energies in the Ten of Swords and invokes The Sun and other positive energies in associated Tarot Cards.

The Sun, Path 30
The Sun
(Associated with the Six of Cups)

THE RITUAL OF THE SUN

     The Ten of Swords, known as "Lord of Ruin," appears on the surface to be one of the worst cards in the deck. However, hidden symbolic associations within the card reveal positive elements that make the figure in the card a possible ally. In the number cards all the adverse cards contain hidden, positive forces, and all the overtly positive cards imply a negative condition as its polar opposite. For instance, even a positive card such as the Ten of Pentacles, known as "Lord of Wealth," implies that the negative condition of poverty has been overcome.
     In the Golden Dawn system of correspondences, the suit of Pentacles represents the element of Earth, the suit of Swords the element of Air, the suit of Cups the element of Water, and the suit of Wands the element of Fire. Also, in the system of Golden Dawn correspondences, each number card of the Minor Arcana, from the Twos to the Tens, is assigned ten degrees of the zodiac, called a decan, or decanate, each of which is ruled by a planet. The number cards are also associated with the ten sephiroth (spheres) of the Tree of Life. For instance, the Aces (or Ones), described as the roots of the powers of the elements, are all assigned to Kether, the first sphere on the Tree; the Twos to Chokmah, the second sphere; the Threes to Binah, the third sphere; and so on down to the Tens in Malkuth, the tenth sphere.

Astrological Associations of the Spheres (Sephiroth):

  • ACES, Sphere 1, Kether: the first swirlings 
  • TWOS, Sphere 2, Chokma: the zodiac
  • THREES, Sphere 3, Binah: Saturn
  • FOURS, Sphere 4, Chesed: Jupiter
  • FIVES, Sphere 5, Geburah: Mars
  • SIXES, Sphere 6, Tiphareth: The Sun
  • SEVENS, Sphere 7, Netzach: Venus
  • EIGHTS, Sphere 8, Hod: Mercury
  • NINES, Sphere 9, Yesod: The Moon
  • TENS, Sphere 10, Malkuth: the four elements


     The meaning of each number card is derived from its element, the combined planet and sign of its decanate, and its location within a sephira. The Ten of Swords, “Lord of Ruin,” is associated with the element of Air since it is in the suit of Swords, with The Sun in Gemini, and with the four elements in Malkuth (the tenth sephira on the Tree). All of these associations color the meaning of the card.
     As I mentioned, for the Ten of Swords and the other adverse cards, one can banish the unwanted energies, then invoke the hidden, positive energies of the card. In the Ten of Swords, the bright yellow light of the sun peaking through the clouds suggests that dark nights of the soul in the material realm can also lead to greater spiritual awareness. The Sun is associated with the source of all life and with enlightenment. On the Tree of Life, the Sun is associated with the Christ center, Tiphareth, the sephira of sacrifice, healing, harmony, spiritual inebriation, and the awakened higher self. The zodiac sign Gemini symbolizes the mortal and immortal aspects of the self, the mortal dying to be reborn in the spirit.
     After I perform the LBRP and the SIRP, I use the following process, step by step, to lay down the cards as a way to first banish the negative energies in the Ten of Swords and then to release the positive energies of The Sun associated with the card. Of course, I use the pentagram, which many people unfortunately associate with evil, in my Tarot spread. The pentagram is a five-pointed star with several important esoteric meanings. First of all, the pentagram can be drawn in one continuous motion, suggesting its unity of form, but unlike the circle, which has no beginning or end, one can begin drawing the pentagram at any of its five points, each of which has various symbolic associations. The pentagram reveals the unity of Earth, Air, Water, and Fire, and the fifth element of Spirit, or Aether. This also reflects the esoteric doctrine that four visible states have their root in a fifth, invisible state.
     Like the circle, the pentagram establishes boundaries. In order to invoke any spiritual energy, a boundary must be established for the appropriate energy to manifest in a concentrated form. The pentagram is also used to banish unwanted energies so that desired energies can then be invoked in a purer state. As a five-pointed figure, the pentagram stems from the sephira, or state of being, represented by the fifth sphere on the Tree of Life known as Geburah (meaning “power” or “severity”). Geburah restricts and controls energy on all levels of being in the same way that a combustion engine controls force so that the engine will run and the vehicle will operate. In other words, the severity of Geburah restricts force in a harmonious and productive manner when used effectively in ritual.
     So it is appropriate that the pentagram is a figure representing the most harmonious force in the cosmos, the Christ-force. This is so because the elements and the letters of a familiar name of God, also known as the Tetragrammaton, are positioned on the points of the star to reflect this symbolic meaning. The Tetragrammaton contains the Hebrew letters Yod Heh Vau Heh, the unpronounceable name of God that people pronounce as Yahweh, or Jehovah. Reflecting how manifestation occurs down through the planes of force and form, Yod represents the element of Fire, Heh represents Water, Vau Air, and final Heh Earth, Fire and Air being active planes of force, Water and Earth being passive planes of form. Each of these elements is associated with a suit in the Tarot, Fire with Wands, Water with Cups, Air with Swords, and Earth with Pentacles. To continue the association chain, in simple terms Fire represents the spiritual plane, Water the mental plane, Air the astral plane, and Earth the background energies of the physical plane.



Foundation Cards: The Four Aces and Judgement

     These five states have as their root a fifth state represented by the Hebrew letter Shin, which signifies the spiritual Aether, the root of manifestation. When Shin is positioned in the center of the God name Yahweh, a new word is created: Yeheshuah. This is a secret name of Christ—down through the years it probably morphed into the name Jesus. Shin is positioned at the top of the pentagram to show how the other four elements manifest harmoniously from the root energy. One can draw a star that moves from the most active energies of manifestation to the most passive in one continuous motion, beginning with Aether at the top, moving to the lower right point (Fire), then to the upper left point (Air), then over to the upper right point (Water), then to the lower left point (Earth), then back to the top.


Ritual Order of Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram

     The Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram starts with the Earth element in the lower left hand corner of the pentagram and moves toward the apex, the element of Spirit, or Aether, then to Fire, Air, Water, and back to Earth. So for the Banishing Ritual of the Tarot Pentagram Spread, I first envision a pentagram on the table. Then I lay down the card with the unwanted energies in the middle of the pentagram, in this case the Ten of Swords, and then use foundation cards that represent the root of each element to banish the unwanted energies. I first lay down the Ace of Pentacles in the lower left hand corner. I place “Judgement” at the top of the star, the Ace of Wands in the lower right hand corner, the Ace of Swords in the upper left corner, the Ace of Cups in the upper right corner. Then I tap each card in the same order, saying the name of each card, making sure that I complete the pentagram by tapping the Ace of Pentacles again. Then I say, "The Pentagram is complete." During the process of laying down the cards, I imagine the black energies within myself draining into the magma under the earth. I take my time, making sure that all the negative energies have drained out of my system and have burned up completely.
Spirit Invoking Rituals of the Pentagram, Active and Passive

     Then I pick up the five foundation cards (the Aces) used for the banishing ritual, putting them in a pile, and place The Tarot Card known as The Sun over the Ten of Swords. I shuffle the foundation cards and then place them in order for the active spirit invoking pentagram. Before laying out the cards, I visualize a pentagram on my alter or table. Since I am invoking active spiritual energy, I start with the Fire element and move toward the Air element, placing the Ace of Wands in the lower right hand corner and then the Ace of Swords in the upper left hand corner, continuing with the Water element and so on in a continuous motion until I complete the pentagram. Then I tap each card in the same order, saying the name of each card as I do so, making sure to tap the Ace of Wands in the lower right point a second time to complete the pentagram. Then I say, "The Pentagram is complete." (If I am invoking passive energies from a card in the suit of Pentacles or Cups, I start with the Ace of Pentacles in the lower left hand corner and move toward the element of Water in the upper right hand corner, placing the Ace of Cups in the upper right hand corner and continuing until I complete the star.)


The Sun with Foundation Cards

     When it comes to laying out the cards, I have found that a little advanced planning is always helpful. For instance, I arrange the cards in a small deck in an order that enables me to perform the ritual without worrying about their order and placement, especially if I am using a lot of modifiers. I often, for instance, make separate piles, one for the primary card and the foundation cards, with the primary card on top; one for the zodiac modifiers; one for the planetary modifiers; and one for the number cards--all in the order of placement. The type of invoking pentagram I am using, either active or passive, affects the lay out of the cards since I will either be starting with Wands in the position of the Fire element in the lower right hand corner and moving to the upper left-hand corner, or with Pentacles in the position of the Earth element in the lower left-hand corner and moving in the opposite direction. This may all sound extremely complicated, but mastering the basics is not difficult once a person develops a familiarity with the cards and the pentagram. I have discovered that this layout helps with memory and concentration, both of which are extremely important in invocation and in the Great Work in general, especially when it comes to the more advanced rituals.


Elemental Triplicities of the Zodiac Cards

     Tarot modifiers add power to the invocation—like any symbol in a ritual should. All modifiers should be related in some way to the card that is the primary focus. Having worked with the cards for a number of years, I have internalized the meaning of each card in the layout. Before I begin laying down the Aces as the foundation cards, I choose the aspects that I want to emphasize, which requires me to examine all of the cards within the deck associated with The Sun, in this case four number cards associated with the sixth sephira, Tiphareth, and the number cards with decan associations, the cards with associated zodiac signs, and the cards with associated planets.


Order of Modifier Placement in Pentagram Spread

     As I mentioned, I first place the card that best represents the ritual purpose in the center of the pentagram, in this case The Sun. Then I lay out the foundation cards, the Aces and Judgement, at the points of the pentagram, following the order of the Active Spirit Invoking Pentagram since Air (symbolized by the suit of Swords) is an active element. To review, I start with the element of Fire in the lower right hand corner, move to the element of Air in the upper left corner, continue over to the element of Water in the upper right corner, then down to the element of Earth in the lower left hand corner and so on until I return to the element of Fire. Then I tap each card, ending with the Ace of Wands and say, “The pentagram is complete.” Next, I lay out the modifying cards following the same order. The modifiers are placed as follows:

1) a card at each point that signifies an associated zodiac sign
2) a card at each point that signifies a related planet
3) an associated number card at each point

Determining which modifiers work best when invoking planetary energies is simply a matter of determining the related sphere of the planet on the Tree of Life, in this case, Tiphareth, sphere number six, and the decan associations of the number cards.


Tarot Correspondences

      I choose all the number cards associated with the sixth sephira and the Major Arcana cards with associated zodiac and planetary signs:

Wands: Strength (Leo), The Wheel of Fortune (Jupiter), the Six of Wands (Jupiter in Leo)
Swords: The Star (Aquarius), The Magician (Mercury), the Six of Swords (Mercury in Aquarius)
Cups: Death (Scorpio), The Sun (in the center of the pentagram), the Six of Cups (Sun in Scorpio)
Pentacles: The Hierophant (Taurus), The High Priestess (The Moon), the Six of Pentacles (Moon in Taurus)

     When laying out the modifiers, the zodiac card is placed first on the Ace, followed by the planetary modifier, then the number card.
     After laying down all the cards, I invoke the Egyptian Gods associated with the astrological signs and the sephiroth of the Tree of Life, knowing that the Gods from culture to culture are variations of each other. For instance, Mercury is the Roman version of the Greek Hermes and the Egyptian Thoth. Mars is the Roman version of The Greek Aries and the Egyptian Horus. I stay with one pantheon in order to avoid confusion. Fortunately I also have statuettes of Egyptian Gods in my ritual space that resonate with the Tarot Cards and create an association chain of spiritual principle. Since I have invoked each God more than once before, I feel no anxiety about contacting their energy. As I invoke each God, I say a little prayer focused on the theme of cleansing and renewal and living in the higher self (or living in enlightenment.) The prayers have a powerful cumulative effect, which has had a life-altering, positive effect on me. I have included a few examples below.


EGYPTIAN GODS IN THE RITUAL OF THE SUN

Strength: Sekmet
Wheel of Fortune: Ma'at
The Star: Sothis, the Celestial Isis
Magician: Thoth
Death: Anubis
The Sun: Ra
The Hierophant: Osiris
High Priestess: Nephthys

EXAMPLES OF PRAYERS:

Thoth

Great Thoth, God of wisdom,
God of magic, God of healing,
Heart of Ptah, tongue of Ra,
cleanse me, purify me,
heal me completely so that I
may live in my higher self,
knowing the dance of life,
the harmony and magnificence
of the eternal Source, so that I
may serve thee and the one God
for the highest possible good.

Sekhmet

Great Sekhmet, Goddess
of Fire, whose breath
created the desert,
daughter of Ra, consort of Ptah,
divine arbiter of Ma’at
in the Hall of Judgment,
Great Goddess, cleanse me,
purify me, reveal thy light,
reveal how to remain open,
how to attract and radiate joy,
so that I may know
the magnificence of Fire
and live in my higher self,
serving thee and the one God
for the highest possible good.

Anubis




Great Anubis, God of the Underworld,
great guide of souls through the dark,
renew me in this difficult time,
let all negativity drain away,
transform me so that all darkness
dissolves in the light of a new day,
let me die to my old self
so that I live in my higher self,
serving thee and the one God
for the highest possible good.



Ma'at



Great Goddess of harmony,
abundance, and magnificence
in the world of the spirit, 
consort of Thoth,
cleanse me and renew me
so that I may live in harmony
with all of creation, so that I
may balance my energies
and thrive in my higher self,
serving thee and the one God
for the highest possible good.



     The last part of the ritual for me has the most impact. After performing the ritual once, I have maintained a much more positive focus. If you do this ritual, please do not forget to perform the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram at the end—something you should do without fail at the end of any ritual.






Tuesday, May 10, 2016

INSANE IS THE NEW NORMAL: POST TWENTY-SIX

Wind Poppies

Note: All photographs were taken in spring, 2016, at the North Fork of the King River, after the Rough Fire.

     Wherever I go in the forest, I encounter angels.
     It all started one spring when my wife and I were driving on Watt's Valley Road east of Fresno, and we stopped next to a hillside blanketed by flowers. As I gazed, transfixed, I couldn't help but mumble, despite my agnosticism, “There is a God.” I returned a few years later, after I had experienced a spiritual emergence due to meditation, to what my wife and I have come to call affectionately “the God-hill,” and I scrambled up the slope in the rain, my feet slogging through a tapestry of fairy lanterns, Chinese houses, tarweed, and Ithuriel's spears. No matter which way I turned, magnificent arrays ravished me, and I stood still for a long time—not just because I was trying to avoid stepping on any more plants. I could sense a unique consciousness emanating from each species, a slightly different frequency of the life-force, all the species within their niche tuned to each other. Later, in some esoteric book I read that each species in nature is the manifestation of an angelic, overarching consciousness, and I like to imagine that each species is an angel that I can experience with both physical and psychic senses. I am extremely cautious while in nature because every animal has the right to survive and defend itself and its young, but after I have been in the forest awhile I tune my spirit to the energy of its angels. Even rocks seem to contain a strange, angelic energy, more primeval than the grass and trees, manifesting far longer than any protoplasm.
Ithuriel's Spear and Fiesta Flowers
     Recently I woke up in the middle of the night and could not get back to sleep. Suddenly, after many anxious thoughts, I found myself within the sun, and I sensed its power and light within all the manifested angels of creation. I believed that I knew my purpose, as one sometimes does in the middle of the night when one cannot sleep: I was born to spread the word that everything in nature is the dense aspect of the spiritual, each species the manifestation of an angel, each angel brimming with physical and spiritual light. Then I understood why shamans connect with power animals: Each animal is one of Earth's angels, at least as significant to humans as the great shining ones of other spiritual realms. As physical beings, we are always closer to Earth's angels than to nonphysical beings. In other words, it is inevitably easier to commune with the host of Earth's angels than with angels from other planes of being. These angels can each give us power to survive and thrive on the material plane.
     An angel, of course, is a personification, a symbol, but the human mind naturally anthropomorphizes as a way to give form to the unseen realities of spirit. Some animal species, such as humans, are evolving individual consciousness, which tends to focus on making a unique place for itself within the world, yet as humans we also retain the potential of contacting the unseen. The figures of angels and gods have helped the human mind make this contact throughout history. The mystical Tree of Life shows the relationships of basic unseen energies, and a study of the Tree reveals the types of unseen energies represented by gods and angels throughout history.
Indian Pinks
     The next morning, of course, I came to my senses, realizing that many people, especially the most “rational” among us, would consider my mission ridiculous or insane. Most atheists and religious people, I've discovered, have their own belief system set in stone, and, skepticism, if my experience is any indication, fuels agnosticism. What if, though, humanity suddenly experienced a sea change in attitude and believed that each species is one of Earth's angelic hosts and then extrapolated that Earth is the dense, physical manifestation of a spiritual Source that is both immanent and transcendent?
     As I have progressed through life, I can't help but discern patterns and abstract meaning from them. I call this meaning spiritual principle. Others might consider it existential gestalt or some other term. For example, I have striven over the years, successfully or not, to develop myself as an artist, writer, composer, activist and spiritual seeker. Each of these pursuits has required sacrifices of time, energy, and money. In each case, I have had to give up something basic to achieve my goal, and I have had to forgive people who have harmed me along the way (and I'm sure they have had to forgive me). When I look back, however, I realize that I have experienced an expansion of consciousness resulting from each sacrifice. At some point during each sacrifice, I have achieved a new and larger sense of self.
     Moreover, I have come to realize that spiritual principle applies to my worldly experiences whether or not I am, at the time,
Madia, Wind Poppies, Chinese Houses
religiously inclined. For instance, in retrospect, even when I was an agnostic, without knowing it, whenever I sacrificed for beauty, justice, or truth, I was manifesting spiritual principle. Eventually, when I encountered the God-hill mentioned above, I was ready to understand the existence of the higher self and the angelic hosts within nature and spiritual principle in general. I now can clearly see that my readiness for an expanded perspective developed from a series of experiences associated with sacrifice.
     The spiritual principle known as the “mysteries of sacrifice,” I have discovered, consists of a process with three stages: first, of course, the actual sacrifice, the giving up of something for a greater good; then, forgiveness of others who have harmed me during the sacrifice; and finally, transformation, a blossoming into a more exalted state of being. These stages have occurred and the spiritual principle has applied whether or not I have been the least bit concerned with spiritual development.
     In the Qabalah, the Christ is a spiritual force that has manifested as different saviors and gods in cultures throughout history, the most recent being Jesus, in whose life the stages of sacrifice play out dramatically through his crucifixion, his forgiveness, and his resurrection. Each one of us, I believe, experiences these stages to some degree whenever we commit to a greater good, such as raising a family in difficult economic times, creating a work of beauty, or overthrowing a tyrant, whether in politics, academia, or the workplace.

Wind Poppies, Chinese Purple Houses

     The process of sacrifice resembles the act of rolling a large rock up a hill, but when the person reaches the summit, he or she experiences an expansion of consciousness, a greater understanding of spiritual principle, a larger sense of self. With sacrifice and forgiveness also comes freedom. The act of forgiveness itself results in a release from bitterness and anger and hatred, a cleansing that leads to a clearer perspective. Don't get me wrong—the act of forgiveness is never easy and often only occurs years after the actual offense, but in my experience the elimination of negativity is absolutely necessary in achieving clarity and expansion of self.
     Sacrifice and forgiveness also result in breaking away from social conditioning. One recognizes how false and illusory are many beliefs maintained by the establishment culture, which is often focused on hierarchies and power relationships. For me, sacrifice has led to a greater understanding of spiritual principle and the ideals of the higher self, which has released me from the materialistic goals of a capitalistic society. I no longer feel
Wind Poppies, Fiesta Flower
compelled to gain wealth, status, or power. I am free to act 
according to the ideals of my higher self, to strive for harmony and exaltation through my art and spirituality. This might strike a sophisticated modern human being as rather archaic. However, I have come to believe in abstractions such as truth, justice, and beauty because life has initiated me. Like many others, I have contacted the unseen energies, and I know their place on the Tree of Life, the mystical glyph that reveals the evolution of the cosmos and the highest evolution of humanity. As I have mentioned in other posts, Life has initiated me in one way through meditation: I had a number of visions of symbols associated with the Tree of Life that reveal spiritual principle—even while I was still an agnostic.
     A person often progresses from one stage to another through sacrifice, which requires intention and attention to spiritual principles, such as truth, beauty, and balance. The mind must make a commitment and focus time and energy on its goal, which is a basic form of sacrifice, instead of simply focusing on feeling
pleasure and avoiding pain. When rising above Malkuth, the material plane, the mind breaks out of purely physical concerns to understand cause and effect, which on the Tree of Life is the plane of intellect known as Hod. In the sphere of Mercury, the highest virtue is truth, which is a way for the human mind to get into harmony with external and internal reality. After a person has sacrificed in order to align with the energies of Hod, a person is prepared to attune the mind to the harmony and beauty of nature and the arts, the sphere associated with Venus known as Netzach. The mind attunes to the harmony of nature and human works of art by “feeling with” the spirit within the creation; when a person feels a profound piece of music, for instance, he or she understands the meaning with the heart, whether or not that knowledge can be articulated. When a person begins to understand with the heart, he or she is moving toward Tiphareth, the sphere of harmony and selfless love also known as the Christ center.
     I should make clear that I am not a Christian in the conventional sense. I am, however, living proof that a person who has never accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior can experience the Christ force. People throughout history have experienced the force of harmony and selfless love even if they have never heard of Christianity, but identifying with the archetype of Jesus, I believe, is an effective way of attuning the heart and soul to that energy, so long as the vice of that sphere, pride, doesn't rear its ugly head—just as identifying with Mercury is an effective way of giving the mind an intellectual focus or identifying with Venus effectively gives the mind an artistic focus.
Ithuriel's Spears, White-tipped Lupine
     Over the years, I have witnessed activists who have kept fighting despite attacks on their credibility and reputation. I stand in awe at how they did not give up after being blackballed or ruined financially. They have shown me the power of sacrifice, which sometimes results in other people doing the right thing just as a situation appears at its bleakest. When I was working as a political organizer, I was an agnostic, but I began to recognize sacrifice as a spiritual principle as I worked with these amazing activists. I first experienced the Christ-force, not in a church, but while active in politics. I witnessed how other activists sacrificed just about everything they had for a higher purpose, and they fought on despite being vilified, blackballed, or ruined financially.
     An activist chooses a life of sacrifice. Beyond the sacrifice of time, energy, and money, he knows that he is taking a risk standing up to influential people in business or academia or politics. He does not know exactly what sacrifice will be demanded but knows that it will occur. In Fresno, CA, an activist learns the score pretty quickly. If activists are effective, people in power will eventually try to undermine them because they interfere with their interests or threaten their reputation. Local governments practice a kind of faux democracy, where political representatives go through the process of listening to testimony at public hearings in order to fulfill legal requirements and maintain the illusion that average citizens can influence the political process. Even in the most backward communities, political representatives have learned how to “dot the i's and cross the t's” for statutes and legal documents, such as environmental impact reports, while relying on their staff and industry attorneys to ensure that their decisions are legally bullet-proof. Elected officials are more often than not influenced by money, and their votes usually boil down to what is expedient and beneficial for their contributors, not what is morally right or in the public's best interest.
     Vested interests use a number of tactics to undermine activists behind the scenes. Powerful people can complain to the activist's employer, for instance. They can get politicians or business leaders to question an activist's credibility. For example, one activist in the Valley sued a developer for inadequate environmental review. During the settlement process, in which the activist demanded that the developer preserve a tract of farmland in perpetuity as mitigation, a local government official phoned the activist and stated that he had called the school district where the activist worked as a substitute. The official wanted the activist to know that he had complained about the activist to the school district. When I spoke to him last, the activist had not been called to work for the school district in over a month, yet that didn't stop him.
     Inspired by their example, I too have experienced forms of ambiguous intimidation. I have lost several jobs, for instance, one after an unexpected evaluation where the administrator begrudgingly marked excellent in each category. He, however, refused to talk about the evaluation with me in a post-evaluation meeting, and I discovered a few days later that I would not be rehired as a teacher at that community college. This was a few weeks after a local newspaper had published an op-ed piece of mine opposing dams on public land. I had worked as an adjunct instructor at the college for over twelve years, receiving a rating of excellent in every category on every evaluation. I had never
Chinese Houses, Wind Poppies, Fiesta Flowers
received a reprimand or a warning, yet I was not rehired. A similar process occurred a few years later. I was still publicly opposing dams that would benefit agribusiness and destroy public land, and I received an email informing me that I was not being rehired at the community college. (Part-time instructors are usually hired on a semester by semester basis.) This, coincidentally, was not long after a “People vs. fish” rally that members of the college took time off to attend, during which they carried signs supporting the ag industry. Some employees of the college brought their signs back to the college campus and stashed them in their offices. A few years after I had been fired, or, as the case may be, “unrehired,” scientists could only find one delta smelt in the wild. Farmers had won the PR campaign.

     I can't, of course, prove that I was fired for opposing the ag industry. I'm pretty sure I have been fired from several other jobs in academia simply for telling the truth, but since so much occurs behind closed doors, and loose lips can lead to lawsuits, I cannot provide definite proof. Coincidentally, academia is the sphere of Mercury, where truth is the highest virtue—and deception is its vice. My experience with academia is no doubt akin to another person's experience with corporate culture: power relationships are more important than truth.
     In a faux democracy, an activist can become quite paranoid. Once, a friend from collage called me out of the blue one evening. I hadn't heard from him in years. The first thing he asked about was an op-ed piece that I had written opposing development in the river bottom. He invited me to a party, and he and his friend and I jammed on electric guitars for most of the evening. As I was placing my guitar in the trunk, for some unknown reason my friend tried to get me to drive home even though I had imbibed at least four beers. He had been friendly the entire evening until I insisted that my wife drive home. Then he snarled offensive remarks questioning my masculinity. His friend also made fun of me while I was getting into the passenger seat of the car. When I refused to drive, they both seemed to panic, as if they both were desperate to get me behind the wheel in an inebriated state. Their remarks were so vulgar and mean-spirited that I kept an eye out for a cop car, and while my wife was driving home I noticed not far from my friend's house a man sitting in what might have been an unmarked police car.
     Around this time I had also published an article critical of a judge who had fined a local activist hundreds of thousands of
Hooker's Onion, Wind Poppies
dollars for a frivolous lawsuit. During the last public hearing the activist had submitted testimony about the precedent-setting and growth-inducing impacts of rezoning the river bottom, and the judge considered his testimony insufficient for a lawsuit, a legal decision which could have established precedent that would have enabled developers to sue just about anyone who does not participate in every stage of a land use decision. The judge's decision was overturned on appeal, but not before the activist was driven to bankruptcy.
     Even though I thought we'd had a blast during the party, I never heard from my former “friend” again. Believing that an old friend might try to get me arrested for a felony DUI might seem like a case of simple paranoia, but I cannot help but remain in a state of agitated hyper-vigilance: Causing an activist's life to unravel is an effective way of keeping the activist from participating in the democratic process. Since poor health now is keeping me from being active, I'm stuck writing this blog instead.
     For several years, I worked as the director of an effective environmental organization. I organized coalitions, testified at public hearings, spoke at press conferences, and gained public support in a number of ways. Just when the organization was hitting its stride politically, helping to stop projects such as coal-fired power plants and a hazardous waste incinerator and establishing the public support to pass legislation forming a Unified Air Pollution Control District, I was named in a sexual harassment lawsuit because I allegedly allowed sexual harassment in the workplace. I had not witnessed, nor had I found any evidence of sexual harassment, but the organization in Fresno eventually had to close its doors due to the lawsuit: the organization, already in the red, had to settle out of court instead of paying much higher court costs. At the same time, the organization was evicted from the building where it had rented office space for over four years, not for failure to pay rent, but for overdue late charges. As the director, I kept experiencing trouble from every side, such as a bogus organization, which paid its employees under the table, canvassing on similar issues; repeated burglaries; and the local newspaper putting our recruitment ad in the sales section of the classifieds even though we were not selling anything, simply exercising our right to free speech and involving the public in the democratic process.
Madia, Wind Poppies, Chinese Houses

     Activism matters because, even though laws and policies are always subject to change, and even though activists in places like Fresno, CA, are vulnerable, the best activists through discipline and sacrifice manifest not only the virtues of Mercury and Venus but the courage of Mars, the spiritual magnificence of Jupiter, and the harmony and selfless love associated with the the Sun. I am certainly not a great activist. As soon as I have become effective on an issue, I also tend to become beset by almost insurmountable problems, and I have alienated many powerful people in academia and business and politics. I now stand alone, which is not usually a good thing when one is trying to establish public support for one's position. However, I have witnessed, during my various spiritual initiations, that the positive use of the energies associated with the higher self, including the spheres of Mercury, Venus, The Sun, Mars, and Jupiter, can inspire people on a deep level: Far better activists than I have inspired me. Activism is about fighting for what you love, and despite my flaws, I have at least had the privilege of working with people wholly committed to protecting what they love, and those who have sacrificed a great deal have certainly had a lasting effect on what the Qabalist's call the “inner planes,” as well as on the quality of life of the community.